Outfitted for adventure with my mother and my daughter...
Two weeks ago, I went to Mexico, adorned in 3 of my favorite designs…while moving my mom into a dementia care facility near the beautiful town of San Miguel de Allende. Oh, adult reality!
While I was running through the Dallas airport, pushing my mother in her wheelchair at a furious rate, to air trains and elevators to make our connection to Mexico, the lace legs of my Garden Party jumpsuit must have looked lovely flying out behind me, under a sweater I layered over it; with my 7 year old running behind us pulling my Hulken bag, yelling “You’re using up too much of my batteryyyy!” Three generations of women undergoing massive life transitions, but make it fashion.
We barely made the flight. But we did, and we made it to Mexico. A driver and I had to heave my immobile mom into the high front seat of the shuttle to the care facility. That was the hardest part. We arrived after midnight, and were graciously greeted by 3 nurses and the manager, like a troupe of benevolent bilingual fairies. It was a mammoth effort that took months of research and planning, but my mom is finally in a place she loves where she receives the care she needs (PT 3 x a week and water therapy 2 x a week in thermal water from hot springs no less) at an affordable cost. I don’t think anything like this place could exist in the US for less than $20,000 a month. If we have billions of dollars for war, then why are we paying out of pocket for elder care, healthcare and education?? How are we not all striking over this every day??
The care my mom is receiving now is amazing. Despite the challenges of my relationship with her growing up, I wanted to give her a beautiful existence, without making her broke. I want her to have the best chance for healing, or at least happiness, that she can possibly have. Her condition is severe but she's only 73.
In San Miguel, my daughter and I stayed with my dear friend Liah, a fabulous singer/performer with 4 dogs and 2 cats. We spent our days visiting my mom in her new home and exploring the historic cobble stone streets. Wearing my Poppyseed Lace Jumpsuit with red lining made it easy to go from sitting by the pool with my mom while we watched Alexandria swim, to shopping in town, to catching a few songs at Liah’s shows.
This is not a “be the woman who does it all and looks good doing it!” endorsement of my brand. I just have all these life experiences I want to share, because they’re so damn human - aging parents, motherhood, separation and divorce, new relationships, friendships, the adventures of living in NYC; the ups and downs and inner struggles and outer triumphs of a NYC artist. For 12 years, my designs have accompanied and enhanced all my life events. Now I’ve been blessed with some amazing collaborators who are making my garment designs reality. But my life is more than clothes…
So after being delayed by the most snow NYC has seen in a decade, my girl and I finally returned home. Being back at work feels so good. Solo parenting for 12 days is a lot. Power of Attorney is a heavy burden. I’ve been through so very much around my mom since her 3rd husband passed in March 2021. Dementia that has destroyed her physical abilities and short term memory. Fighting a legal battle with her former stepsons for her house on her behalf, while managing all aspects of her financial life. All while going through my own separation, getting my business started and being the best mom I can be. The last few years were excruciating, but they have led to my little clothing company and the greatest love of my life.
So this feels very full circle with my mom. I’m feeling heroic about this move, and…dare I say…wiser, from living through all this.
